Last time I checked, it was not legal for a used tampon and a special needs pony...– michael k on spencer and heidi’s elopement
i knew i liked kristen stewart →
superdoofus-stratodrive: i’ll show you mine if you show me yours. scene from the ice storm it’s intended for “mature audiences”, so you’ll probably have to log in to hulu to watch it. mills says that this is one the best films ever made, which makes it kinda like a direct order from your superior officer that you see the film immediately.
Some men watch porn, I watch men chopping pork.– Anthony Bourdain (via soupsoup) (via wayne-remy)
You have a small wiener and you gave me a hickey. Fuck Off.
7 vampires that are better than twilight's edward... →
Fact: I was totally in love with Spike when I was in junior high.
an email from an ex
“I know you probably don’t want to talk to me but I was wondering if you could tell me the name of that one black and white movie we watched. Had that Italian actor… Thanks.” UM you mean Down By Law, you chump? I’m not emailing him back.
My rack keeps getting bigger. I have gained a bit of weight lately, and at least 50% percent went to my tits, honest to g. I looked in the mirror while naked the other night and really noticed my tatters’ hugeness. The point of this story is that the only bras in DD (or bigger) were the kind my grandma wears. Woe.
Tonya, James and I are having people over for turkey and other crap today. So last night I was home alone, and was all keyed up with fear of the Serial Rapist climbing in thru my window (which is on the front of the house, right over the porch, nearly level with it, and my bed is next to it). So I used that mania to scrub the hell out of both the kitchen and the bathroom, and did tons of laundry,...
What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany’s at midnight. Do I go for the...– Dwight Schrute (via capriquarius) (via 24freedinners) (via dandywolves) (via stophavingashittyday) (via wayne-remy)
…they’re not spur of the moment, opportunistic type assaults. That there...– Columbus Police Sgt David Pelphrey, on the serial rapist that has now raped eigt women in northwest columbus, most recently in Grandview, a neighborhood that’s scarily close to mine.
realization of the day
I am using facebook more and more just as a means of stalking people. Especially people I hate.
itsbedtime: mykol78: awesome-everyday: Name one (or more) of your favorite female fronted bands. me: 1. No Doubt 2. The Yeah Yeah Yeahs Cranberries Guano Apes Garbage Rilo Kiley Tilly & The Wall Tegan and Sara New Pornographers Velvet Undergroud & Nico, The Roches, Mates of State
I feel more and more alone as a person of faith. It’s not just rock stars who...– Brandon Flowers (via skylerelizabeth) (via whatson) (via soupsoup) (via hipsterdiet) This makes me hate him a tiny bit less. Only a little. He is a balls songwriter. Saying something I can relate to only elevates him slightly higher than, say, Bono in my mind.
Making marijuana against the law is like saying God made a mistake.– Bill Hicks (via excitablehonky) (via afghanistanbananastand) (via soupsoup) (via cvxn)
Good news for those of you who have any money...
superdoofus-stratodrive: alexbalk: …The Criterion Collection is running a 40% off sale. It runs through Monday next, so if you were planning to get me that Janus box set for Christmas, now’s the time to move… oh shit oh shit oh shit! time to break the bank.
now i know where to buy tonya's christmas/birfday... →
Dear O’Reilly’s, Please stop letting in douchebags who try to start shit with me*, people from Xenos that I awkwardly sort of vaguely know but can’t remember because it’s been so fucking long**, and girls who fucked my boyfriend while I was dating him***. In light of these issues, I might not return to your establishment.**** Peace Out/Your Onion Rings are Delicious, ...
despite my love of painkillers and adjustable... →
serial rapist on the loose in cbus, great. →
AM TOTALLY FREAKED OUT that so many of my friends’ parents are on Facebook now. Like, really. They can get to this blog via Facebook, and read my status, which is 98 percent of the time ENTIRELY innappropriate. Old people are creeping my shit now, ya know what I mean? **this exempts Justin’s parents. They are hip folks, and know how much trouble I get into firsthand.